Barbie Perkins-Cooper, Author

Blog

  • Miss Goody-Two-Shoes


    While writing today, I came across something that I feel I must write about. As a child and a young adult, I was always addressed as “Little Miss Goody-Two-Shoes.” My mother said it was not a term of endearment and that ‘when kids call you “Little Miss Goody-Two-Shoes” they are ‘putting you down.’

    Each time I heard that description, I cringed. Later, as an adult, I heard someone in the workforce describe me as “Little Miss Goody-Two-Shoes,” and a “Pollyanna.”

    Here it goes again, I thought, choosing to keep thoughts to myself.

    Today, I would like to thank everyone in life who has ever described me in such a way. Little did I know, those descriptions were actually compliments. All of my life I have lived with verbal abuse of my peers, my mother and others. Perhaps surviving the verbal abuse taught me strength, determination, and pride — to stand alone when others criticized me.

    Let’s define the terminology of “Little Miss Goody-Two-Shoes.” In the 1700’s, there was a short story published with the title, “Goody Two Shoes.” The term of endearment for me describes someone who strives to be her best, and to do her best…I confess, that description is definitely who I am. Always striving not to say ugly words, and not to gossip or be ugly to others. I have always worked hard to conduct myself as a professional, to be diplomatic and to be kind to others, even those who are ugly to me. Nevertheless, with age, comes wisdom — along with the determination to be equal and to not allow others to mistreat me. Today, I am described as a feminist.  It is true that I have a reputation as an opinionated woman who speaks her mind and most definitely will give my opinion when asked, and many times — when I am NOT asked. I will open doors for men, and the elderly. I say nightly prayers, and I have always worked hard to be a lady. A Southern belle? Not exactly! I am more of the Steel Magnolia — a woman who stands her ground when needed and definitely does not allow a man, or others to push me around. Not anymore! I believe in equality and strive to be all that I can be as a friend, wife, mother and woman.  Thank you all who have ever whispered those descriptions to me, or behind my back. “Little Miss Goody-Two-Shoes,” and “Pollyanna…” Perhaps IF you ever walked in my shoes, you would understand and appreciate that life is too short. We must look for the good, not the bad, and we must learn to smell and appreciate the flowers. Perhaps a cliché? So, are the descriptions.

    Yes, I am “Miss Goody-Two-Shoes” and I am proud of who I am today!

  • Tis the Season for Temptation and Determination


    Over the weekend, I spent time with some of my dearest friends, at their annual Christmas party. Of course, since I am on Weight Watchers, it is truly hard to stick to Power Points and count them, especially when away from home. I anticipated I would gain weight; however, all I did was to practice portion control. Instead of filling my plate with food, I got only small portions and ate only a bit. I did not clean my plate. Yes, I went to the desserts table and I did eat two pieces of a chocolate roll. Definitely not on the program, but it is the Christmas season. I am determined NOT to gain weight this season. Will I achieve it? You bet I will! Originally, I planned to lose all of my weight this year. No, I haven’t achieved that. But like someone said in our Thursday morning meeting…”None of us put the weight on overnight, and we cannot expect to lose the weight overnight.” I am losing on the average of one pound a week. Sometimes, I lose .2; or .4, or .6. I’ve learned to tell myself it is ok to lose ever so slowly! The best weight loss I’ve had was 4.2 in two weeks. Yes, it is the holidays. Nevertheless, this year, I am enjoying wearing glitz and glamour again. Just last week, I treated myself to a glitzy belt. Yes, I can wear a belt again! The little things in life, like losing weight at the Christmas holiday season, makes me so proud!

  • I’m Sick of Trying to Post on The Weight Watchers Blog


    It doesn’t like me, and so here I go — posting on my blog! Weight Watchers please fix your blog site. I’m sick of it always giving me a stupid code that ‘can’t post now…try later…’ Please, spare me the details!

    Thanksgiving is gone and past. I hear people complaining about the weight they gained over that week. I am hoping (and fairly certain) I will have a weight loss. According to my scales (and they are not as accurate as Weight Watchers) I have lost. I’ll not share what I think I’ve lost until tomorrow.

    I’m finding WW really simple and easy to follow, especially since it is a healthy life style change!

    Yes, tomorrow is the day I will hop on the scales at the morning meeting. Now, looking back to how mortified I was in March, I no longer dread weighing in. I’ve met new friends and I’ve discovered Weight Watchers is now a way of life for me. I was hopeful my husband would join too, but he is a stubborn man who likes to do things his way. Funny. He went to the doctor three weeks ago for his six month Diabetic check up. He has lost four pounds, and now that he is being a ‘little more careful about his eating habits,’ his A1C level has decreased to 6.4. Okay.  Those of you who know a bit about Diabetes will say 6.4 isn’t healthy — compared to his former 9.2, 8.7, and 10.2 — he is doing better.

    Is that a reflection of my success with Weight Watchers? I haven’t asked, but I suspect it is! Thank you Weight Watchers for giving me the courage and stamina to lose weight this year. Can’t wait until I hit my goal. Haven’t discussed that with the leader yet, but I am convinced I will SUCCEED. All to the credit of Weight Watchers and the Points Plus! More later – after weigh in!

    If only Weight Watchers WOULD FIX THEIR BLOGS! It isn’t me, Weight Watchers. I am a writer. I know how to blog. Just make your blogs user friendly! One day it works. The next I get those stupid codes. Yes, I’m blonde, but I do not consider myself dumb or computer illiterate!

    Are you listening, Weight Watchers???????

  • A Thanksgiving Message to Our Soldiers Families


    Dearest Readers:

    Below is a post I wrote a few years ago for Thanksgiving, and remembrance of our soldiers who might be away at this time of year. I hope you enjoy, and I hope we all have a Happy Thanksgiving season.

    This is a personal message to the families of our soldiers. Today is Thanksgiving, but as you sit down for your family dinner, something is missing. A chair remains empty. As you sit with loved ones,  giving thanks. your heart breaks while glancing at the empty chair. How I remember those days of emptiness. My first Thanksgiving as a newly married woman, my husband phoned to say he was leaving Ft. Dix, NJ — departing to Vietnam on Thanksgiving Day. It was truly the saddest Thanksgiving of my life. I glanced at the dining room chair he always sat at, knowing he would not share that date with me. The next year, I baked the turkey, dressing and trimmings, imagining he would be home for Thanksgiving. Awaiting a phone call saying he was on his way home, I wanted to make certain everything was perfect. The phone call never arrived.  Fearful something dreadful had happened, I phoned the American Red Cross. I was told ‘when he’s missing for over 30 days, call us again!’ How cold and inhumane! There was no one I could phone to see where my husband was. I imagined the worst — in the event something had happened to him. Slowly, the days ticked away. Finally on December 5 of that year, he phoned. He was coming home!

    Perhaps America and the military learned a lot from Vietnam. Now, there are family support groups. We had the “Waiting Wives” Club. Trust me…many of them were not waiting wives! Now, families and children are able to SKYPE the soldier. E-mail and cell phones bring the distance closer, and many military groups do what they can to assist the families. Thank goodness!

    Today is Thanksgiving. I hope your family is connected, even when the soldiers are away. Give Thanks for the electronic venues available to make the opportunity to speak to your loved one. If you have a Flat Daddy, instead of looking at an empty chair, place the image of Flat Daddy in the chair.  If you haven’t heard about “Flat Daddy” — it is an image of your loved one where you can take photographs and remember “Flat Daddy,” and perhaps there is a “Flat Mommy” too!

    To all of our precious troops, I hope your Thanksgiving will be a special, precious moment where your family and friends will give thanks for all of the honor, integrity and freedom our soldiers give for our freedom. May today be a day where you will share SKYPE and voice connections. Thank you, Soldiers for all you are doing for us, and for freedom. Your courage, honor and dedication to the mission at hand is not forgotten. We miss you.  We love you, and we support your missions. Thank goodness things have changed significantly since Vietnam!!! Today, on Thanksgiving, there will be an empty chair, until you come home! May God bless and keep you safe and may you know we are so thankful for you!

  • Happy Thanksgiving


    The turkey is ready, awaiting the time to brine and prepare for a Thanksgiving feast. The menu is planned with delicious roast turkey, dressing, fresh cranberry sauce, potatoes, cornbread dressing — or perhaps, oyster dressing. Whatever you as the cook prefer, along with your guests.

    Thursday, November 24, 2011 is the day of Thanksgiving for the United States of America. Since 2001, America has learned to appreciate and give thanks during a time of war. Many of our family members will be away from us, and I am certain it is difficult. If that is the scenario in your family, please be thankful for SKYPE, e-mail, cell phones and the ability to surf the Internet to speak with your loved one. Never is it easy to miss a loved one during this special time of Thanks, but many of us are still missing those we have lost, due to death.

    As a writer, I would like to wish all of you a Happy Thanksgiving.  May you spend time enjoying your loved ones. May your turkey and all of the trimmings help you to appreciate the life we have, along with our freedom. If you are a soldier, away from home, reading this, I say a special Thank You to all of you.

    Our family will spend Thanksgiving with dear friends, and our precious adopted rescue animals. Let us all be thankful for the life we have, the friends and family we share, and for the gift of celebration with our family and friends. Happy Thanksgiving. Enjoy all of the festivities and please remember to say a prayer to God for all that He has given to us, this day — and every day. Have a great Turkey Day!!!

  • Another Failing Attempt to Post on Weight Watchers


    Getting just a bit annoyed EVERY TIME I attempt to post in my Weight Watchers blog, so here goes — on MY blog!  I must say, I am feeling so much better about myself now that I am losing weight THE RIGHT WAY! No drugs. No specialty drinks. No deprivation! I tell everyone, if you really want to lose weight — join Weight Watchers. I have one friend who bounces from one diet to another – rarely accomplishing her goals. Yes, she has lost weight this year, but when she saw me a few weeks ago, she was so envious. I suppose I sound like Jennifer Hudson a bit, when I reply — go to Weight Watchers — simply because it works. You have a great support group at the meetings, and you recognize that you are not alone. It is a great feeling to see the accomplishments, and to hear the success stories. Yes, the first meeting is a bit scary — especially when stepping on the scales for the first time. No one can read what the scales report, with exception of the person recording your weight. All of them have been there. Some people are so intimidated — including me — but when you recognize that we are all here together for the same mission and goal, you feel much better! Regardless how long it takes me, I will continue this weight loss program. Now, Weight Watchers is a part of my life. Yes, it’s taken me eight months to lose 26 pounds — nevertheless, it is a loss! My clothes fit much better, and I have a few that I must gather, clean and give to Goodwill. If I get motivated and really clean the closet, I probably have almost a closet full to give away. Perhaps I’ll contribute to several charities. After all, someone might could use them.  I am proud that I have accomplished this, and when a distant friend replied that ‘she was jealous,’ I simply smiled and said, “Honey…You ain’t seen nothing yet!”

  • Just What is it With the Weight Watchers Blog???


    Since my Weight Watchers blog is NOT WORKING again — decided to post this on my blog.

    For many weeks I’ve had great difficulty getting my blogs to post, so let us try this again, and see if it works. As a professional writer, I certainly hope so!

    I joined Weight Watchers March 3, 2011. Since that time I’ve lost 26 pounds; unfortunately (or perhaps fortunately — depending on your mindset) I was not able to attend my weekly meeting last week. I took a day off to go to Myrtle Beach with two dear friends. While we were in Myrtle Beach, we attended the Christmas festival at the Convention Center. We had a great time, and for the most part, I stuck with the WW program. No, I didn’t rush home to journal in my points plus tracker, but I was a ‘good girl.’ I could’ve posted my journal on my Blackberry Torch, but simply didn’t take the time while the girls and I laughed, giggled and shopped — almost until we dropped! We walked a lot, stopping to shop, to rest, and to keep moving. Occasionally, a girl simply must spend time with good friends!

    Yes, I confess, I felt a bit guilty, recognizing that I missed my meeting. I promised myself I would drop by on Friday and get weighed.

    My husband was out-of-town for two weeks, arriving home on Friday, so I spent the day with him, running errands, getting a haircut, etc. etc., so WW did not appear on my calendar. Oh well. This week I will attend the Thursday meeting. I will report on that later. Let us hope my blog is working again!

    If it is, stay tuned as I blog about my weight loss. Many of my friends have told me “Girl, you are looking great…How much more do you want to lose?” I simply smile, saying thank you and told them to ‘stay tuned, honey…You ain’t seen nothing yet!’And so it goes. Stay tuned! I am so happy that I have stuck it out with Weight Watchers. It is truly a part of my busy life!

  • Tis the Season…


    November 13, 2011 — Tis the season as Father Time clicks the minutes and hours of 2011 away. This is a season to be thankful for all that we have in life, our accomplishments, and mostly a season to be thankful for those who have come into our lives. I fully believe people come into our lives for a reason, a season, and a purpose. 2011 has been a great year for me with our friends, and there has been great sadness when I lost two friends.

    It is my wish that everyone in the USA will take a moment to say thank you to all of our friends and family, and a gigantic thank you for our service members — both men and women. Without your dedication and courage to fight for freedom, America would be a lost cause.

    Thanksgiving is approaching. To my family and friends I say, thank you for coming into my life. Thank you for the friendship and love we share. During times of trouble and sadness, thank you for holding my hand, for casting a smile, and for the silly jokes, songs, and fun times that we share with such great laughter and affection. Friends truly mean the world to me. Without all of you in my life, I would not be the woman I am in 2011. Happy Thanksgiving to all! Tis the season for turkey and all the Thanksgiving goodies. Thanks for entering and sharing my life.

  • So Good to Have Good Eye Sight Again!


    For the past two weeks I have endured another fear in my life while fighting with my right eye. For a few days, I thought the poor eye sight was going to win, then I decided it was time to let it rest. And so I did.

    I am pleased to announce, my eye sight is much better now. Nightly, I have been a really ‘good girl,’ obeying the suggestions of my eye specialist by removing my contact every night. With every awakening, I see improvement. It is so special to have good eye sight again. Now, I must remember while working at a computer — I must take the time to look away from the screen. To remind me to do this, I have the TV on. Occasionally something from the Trial of Dr.  Murray/Michael Jackson will catch my attention and I glance away from the computer screen while continuing to allow my fingers to dance across the keyboard.

    Another suggestion the doctor stated was for me to blink, blink, blink more often. “This is good for dry eyes,” she said, “And your right eye does have dry eye syndrome.” OK, so now I’ll blink more. If you, my friends, are reading this and see me out and about, now you will know why I am blinking more. No, I’m not batting my eyes at some guy. Simply blinking. Blinking…and blinking to lubricate my right eye!

    I truly learned an important lesson from this experience. Just how many times have I ‘forgotten’ to remove my contact after wearing it for one week. DUH! I don’t know! I do not count those incidents. And — how many times have I worn the same contact for — more than two weeks? Don’t know!!!

    While working at a university, I saw many students remove their contact, wet it with a bit of saliva and place it back in their eye. Trust me, I’ve never done that!

    Now, after this experience, I will take better care of my eyes. I do not wish to lose my sight, and I don’t imagine others who are losing their sight want to have this happen, but things do happen in life. We just have to learn how to cope and deal with these situations. Today, I am so thankful to be able to see again, to not have to squint and focus with much difficulty and to not wear the “dollar store reading glasses!”

  • Sorry For the Delay – All Related to Sleeping in Contacts!


    Yes, I know, it’s been a few weeks since I’ve posted anything on my blog. I do apologize. The past few weeks have been a bit difficult for me, especially with an unexpected eye problem.

    Allow me to explain. About two weeks ago, I awoke with my right eye out of focus. I excused it by saying I was a bit sleepy still. I rubbed my eyes, removed my contact in the right eye, thinking I needed to clean it. After all, I hadn’t removed it since Saturday night. I’ve worn contacts for years, always wearing the soft, disposable type that you could sleep in. DON’T DO IT!!!

    After rinsing the contact, I popped it back into my eye. Still unable to focus, I turned my computer on. Fortunately, I know the keyboard well. A writer simply must know how to allow her fingers to dance along the keyboard to type. My keyboard is the ergonomic type. After my computer awoke, I pulled e-mail, unable to focus my eye. What is going on?

    I reached for my reading glasses. All I saw was fog. I phoned my eye doctor and made an appointment for Friday. When that morning arrived, I could see a bit, only to have my eye unfocus periodically. The eye doctor confirmed I was having difficulty when I could not read the eye charts.  Oh dear, I thought. What is going on?

    My  eye doctor has the personality of a cow, at least on this date. He admitted that he was ‘dumbfounded’ regarding my right eye. My left eye was the weak one, but on this date it was 20/20. He referred me to a specialist, giving me a piece of paper that I simply could not read. Before you panic wondering if I drove to the eye doctor, the answer is yes. Distance doesn’t bother me. I could even read license plates, but up close — I could see you, just could not focus or read a simple piece of paper.

    Such dreadful news for a writer! On Monday, a holiday, the specialist phoned to book the appointment for ten days. Ten days I said. Please find me an earlier appointment. I’ll take anything you have this week!

    To make a long story short, I saw the eye surgeon on Wednesday. My eye is fine. On that date, I could read and see the eye chart! The prognosis — dry eye syndrome from sleeping in contacts!

    But I’ve done this for years, I said. She nodded, taking the time to explain. I removed my contact in my right eye. She recommended that I keep the contact out for seven days. Today is day number six. Since my eye is definitely feeling better, along with the vision significantly improved, I decided to wear the contact today, just to see how my eye would do. I am happy to report, my eye is fine today! The contact is comfortable. The eye doesn’t feel as dry as it was, and it so magnificent to see again without blinking and straining my eye.

    Eye sight is such a blessing, but I was beginning to prepare myself for vision in only one eye, and I planned to do research to prepare myself in the event my vision would not return. To say I was frightened is an understatement. I’ve learned a valuable lesson now. Do not sleep in contacts. Even if, you are too tired to remove them. Simply make removing the contacts and soaking them for the night night time a part of your nightly beauty routine. I certainly will. Lessons learned — almost the hard way!