Barbie Perkins-Cooper, Author

Tag: faith

  • Reflections At Christmas Time


    Christmas   Is…

     Dearest Readers:

    Yes, it is the Christmas season. A time to give thanks and be appreciative for all that we are, and all that we have. A time to celebrate the birth of CHRIST…a time to recognize that IF we did not have the ‘birth of Christ’ as the reason for the season, we would not be celebrating Christmas.

    Perhaps that is one of the reasons for this editorial. I cannot tell you how many times I hear good wishes, such as “Happy Holidays.” My response is a quick, “Merry Christmas to you too.” On one occasion while shopping, the employee look stunned at me when I said, “Merry Christmas.”

    “We can’t say that,” she replied. “We can only say Happy Holidays.”

    “But…this is America. The land of the free. We can express anything here in America.”

    She looked down at the floor. “We can only say “Happy Holidays.”

    I recall when I worked in the retail sales industry and we were told it was better to say “Happy Holidays,” than to express “Merry Christmas,” after all, we did not want to offend anyone. The philosophy at the department store was that Happy Holidays covered all of the holidays. Still, I expressed, “Merry Christmas and Happy New Year,” covering both. I didn’t care that I might offend someone. If they were shopping for the holidays, then I wished them a Merry Christmas.

    I remembered my grandmother and how furious she got when she read “Merry Xmas.” “That isn’t Christmas,” she expressed. “They’re leaving Christ out of Christmas.” As a child I didn’t fully understand what she was saying. Now older and wiser, I do understand and I make certain I write Christmas, not Xmas. I will not leave Christ out of Christmas.

    I do not believe that I am the most religious person in the world, but I do believe in Christ and I believe I am a Christian. I do my best to be a good person, and to treat others as I wish to be treated. Of course, I am human, and at times, I am just a bit opinionated, as you will read in this epistle! Yes, I am a feminist and an advocate against domestic abuse of all types. I look for the good in everyone and I believe that everyone in life has a purpose; however, I believe that when we make mistakes, we must admit them, apologize and rise above the controversy or pain we caused to others. Everyone deserves a second chance. We must make the most of every day and live life to its fullest. I attempt to treat everyone as an equal and I do not understand that IF America is the land of the free, where we can express our words freely, then we should be able to keep Christ in Christmas, and by saying Merry Christmas, there should not be any offense to anyone.

    Let’s consider Christmas:

    C – Christmas, a time to Celebrate and to share our love with others. Most of all, Christmas is the celebration of the birth of the Christ child. A time for change and growth within our lives.

    H – Hope. Something our entire world needs now more than ever. Hope for the future. Hope for peace.

    R – Reflection. A time to reflect on who we are, where we are going, and what we are doing in our daily lives.

    I – Integrity. Everyone needs to strive to have more integrity for ourselves, and for others.

    S – Salvation.

    T – Time. We need to share more of our time, especially quality time with our loved ones. We need to make time to shut down the technology and to share quality time without interruptions.

    M – Making the most of each day while recognizing that life is short and we should appreciate those who are important in our lives.

    A – Adoration. Appreciation.

    S – Simplicity.

    Last year, during the Christmas holidays, I was sick. Dreadfully ill with acute bronchitis. My body lacked energy. Every breath was a struggle. My oxygen level was ‘less than 85,’ and I was told to get plenty of rest. Resting was not a problem. Throughout the day, I rested in bed, watching Lifetime and Hallmark channel Christmas movies until I could almost recite the dialogue of each movie. When the phone rang, I ignored it. I told my friends to simply let me rest. I suppose it is easy to say I basically shut the world away as I drank coffee, took my pills, coughed my head off, struggled to breathe and to rest. I was miserable. My precious schnauzers could not understand why they were tucked inside the gated community of the breakfast room while I sauntered ever so slowly towards the bedroom. Housework was ignored. My stove actually got so dusty I could write my initials on it. My Christmas holidays were a time of reflection. For weeks I wondered IF I would ever get well. What did I learn during this time?

    Life is precious. It is to be cherished with those we love and we should make the most of every day we live. After all, we never know when the wheels of life may turn and we never know when Father Time may start ticking away. Last Christmas, I didn’t shop, at all! My life and health was in a fog, so I learned that Christmas should not be a time to rush around. It is a time to reflect and to appreciate.

    Christmas time is a great time to change our lives. To celebrate and appreciate our loved ones, freedom and the belief and faith we have.

    So many of us get wrapped up in the hustle, bustle of the holiday season. We rush to get to the next social event. We rush to get our families prepared for the holidays, and we rush to complete our shopping. Maybe we should slow down and appreciate life.

    How many times have you seen the actions of someone during the Christmas season? The rushing in traffic. The rudeness of others? Yesterday, a driver that was behind me in a torrential rain storm decided I wasn’t going fast enough in the center lane. He drove so close to me that If I had to slam on my brakes, he would’ve rear ended me. I tapped my breaks lightly, to give him the message to back off. Instead, he swiftly changed lanes, cut me off, then tapped his break. Yes, he sent me a message and I hope wherever he was headed in the rain storm, I do hope and pray he made it without causing an accident.

    It is my perception that we should slow down and appreciate life, especially during the Christmas rush season. Perhaps while shopping, we could stop and smile at someone. How many times have you noticed someone with a frown on their face? Maybe if you said hello to that person it might change their perspective. Have you ever visited a nursing home at the holidays? There are so many people there who never have a visitor and during the Christmas season they do not receive mail, phone calls, or visits. These residents deserve to have a happy holiday season. I have added a few to my Christmas letter list and I enclose a Christmas card with the letter. My hope is to put a smile on someone’s face during the holidays. After all, Christmas is the reason for the season.

    My Christmas wish for all of you reading this is one of simplicity. May you appreciate your family and friends while taking the time to realize Christmas is a time to share your love to others and to man kind. May you never get so busy with the demands of your life that you forget to smile and say hello. May you not over indulge with the spirits of the season, the foods, and the gift giving that you forget the true meaning of Christmas. May you stop for a moment, inhale, exhale and say, “Merry Christmas” with a smile on your face.

    Merry Christmas to all, and may God bless us – EVERYONE!

    Little things mean a lot, especially at Christmas.

     

     

  • Today Is A New Day — The Weight Watchers Way – Back On The Wagon Again


    Dearest Readers:

    Today is a new day, one that I will not go to my regular Weight Watchers meeting. Over the Thanksgiving holiday I have gained — again! I am so furious with myself that I could throw in the towel and give up, BUT — I shall not quit! While I am ashamed and furious with myself, I do not wish to share my mood or shame with others at the meeting.

    Why?

    I do not wish to fall off the wagon, but I have. According to my scales I have gained about three pounds. My husband asks how? “You eat like a bird, or a small child.”

    True. Oh so true!

    I am careful what I eat, but over the holiday, I baked a cake. My husband’s favorite cream cheese pound cake. I told myself I would not eat it, fearful that IF I took even a small bite, it would set me up for destruction. It did! Yes, I tracked my food — every bite, and many days, my power point count was over the top. I was ashamed. Furious with myself. I think I must have a conversation with my husband, telling him NOT to ‘save that last piece of cake for me.’ Of course, I ate several pieces of the cake. Afterwards, I told myself I was weak. A loser, but not in the Weight Watchers way. I was a loser to myself. Lacking courage or determination. I was a weakling. I might as well quit Weight Watchers.

    OK self — you are headed down a road of self-destruction! I told myself I could stop this behavior. I have no idea where it came from. Last year at Thanksgiving I was stronger — emotionally, although I was physically ill with acute bronchitis. Food wasn’t an enemy for me last year, like it was this year. This Thanksgiving, Food was a monster to me. The cake echoed to me, telling me I was hungry and should eat, and eat and eat…. Thanksgiving does have the tendency to depress me. I am accustomed to sharing Thanksgiving with a household full of people. Friends. Family. That doesn’t happen anymore and I miss it. Maybe I should volunteer to cook for some of the organizations needing volunteers at the holidays. I scratch my head. Why didn’t I think of that earlier?

    This Thanksgiving I was spinning on a wheel that wouldn’t stop and with every spin, food was the enemy.

    What did I do?

    I found a recipe for a chocolate cheesecake I wanted to make and I baked it. Two days later, I cut the cheesecake and ate one piece — a small piece — for breakfast. Headed back to the kitchen, I picked up the chocolate cheesecake and tossed it in the trash. I could’ve shared it with one of my neighbors, but I knew that IF that cheesecake remained inside my fridge until she came home, I would be tempted. Oh so tempted.

    Today, I am angry with myself and I simply cannot attend the meeting. Tears drip down my face as I write this, sharing it with my readers and fans.

    While today is a new day, for me, it is a day of self-discovery. A day to make certain I work out and eat properly, the Weight Watchers way. I will miss my meeting, but today, I am focused to get off this wagon of self-destruction and to move forward with the stiff determination and perseverance I must have to continue losing my weight.

    Yes, today I am furious with myself, although I am confident I will achieve my goals. I must remind myself that this too shall pass, and I must repeat the words my father shared with me so often. The words of a poem by Anonymous, the title “Don’t Quit.” This poem is my anchor. It comforts me and gives me courage:

    DON’T QUIT:

    “Success is failure turned inside out,

    the silver tint of the clouds of doubt,

    and you never can tell how close you are.

    It may be nearer when it seems afar.

    So stick to the fight when you are hardest hit.

    It’s when things seem worse, you mustn’t quit!”

    These words anchor me, guiding, embracing me not to quit. Not in marriage. Not in my dreams and passions as a writer. Not in my life. Not with Weight Watchers.

    “It’s when things seem worse, you mustn’t quit.”

    Today is a New Day! Next Thursday is a new day…a new meeting! DON’T QUIT!

     

  • Losing Weight, the Weight Watchers Way


    Dearest Readers:

    If  you read my posts on a regular basis, you might recognize I haven’t written much lately about losing weight. Why? That’s an easy question to answer. I have been stuck in a plateau — for 12 months, bouncing back and forth, trapped inside a spinning wheel, my body refused to drop below a loss of 35 pounds. Inches lost? Many. Until about a month ago, I refused to measure! I worked out. I tracked my food intake. I was so careful; nevertheless, my body applied brakes, refusing to lose just one more teeny tiny pound. At my weekly Weight Watchers meetings, I listened to friends sharing their weight loss, while I sat in a corner near the back, so angry at myself that I contemplated quitting.

    BRAKES and EXERCISE!

    I missed my meetings. If my morning wasn’t starting on a positive note, I stayed home from the meeting, telling myself that the next week would be so much better because I was confident I would have a weight loss. Laugh. LAUGH. Laugh!

    The next week, a weight gain. The week after that, a small loss…and so on. I read articles. I told myself that this too shall pass. I jumped on the treadmill. Maybe I could do ten minutes on it. When ten minutes got easy to this asthmatic woman, I chose to continue the treadmill, increasing the minutes from 10 to 20, then 30…35. A few weeks ago, I actually accomplished 60 minutes non-stop on the treadmill. Dripping with sweat, I screamed. I was euphoric! Oh…My poor four-legged children were not happy with my scream, but they did seem to appreciate their mommy working out while they napped.

    I was certain the additional workout would do the trick. It did not. At my doctor’s office, I discussed my situation and how my body had simply stopped in limbo, refusing to allow me to lose any more weight. He nodded. Maybe you should try the Medical Weight Loss programs at the hospital. MUSC has one. I researched those options when I got home. I did not want to succumb to shots, pills or anything so extreme. For me and my self-worth, I wanted to accomplish my goals — shall I say it — MY WAY!

    ONWARD

    Today is November 21, 2013. Plans are all set for Thanksgiving next week. My husband and I are visiting a close friend for Thanksgiving so food should not be such an issue; however, today at the Weight Watchers meeting, our leader, Kathy, passed out paper plates. She had us look and select our chosen foods on a pretend buffet. I jotted my food choices down and went back to my chair to calculate the power points, discovering that the Thanksgiving meal would set me up for total destruction. My total power points for Thanksgiving will be a whopping 33 points. OUCH! I have decided that I will be most careful on Thanksgiving and I will only eat a bite of each food choice, and if I should weaken, I will simply tell myself that tomorrow is another day! That is one of the most important lessons we, the members of Weight Watchers learn…When we fall off the wagon, we stop. Regroup…and begin our journey once again. We do not beat ourselves up, or discontinue our journey. We move on! And On… AND ON! ONWARD!!!

    Last week was a busy week for me. Phil and I were in Murrells Inlet, performing for the Elks Lodge. I think I had the correct mindset during our trip and I am happy to report that this week was the best week I’ve ever experienced with Weight Watchers. Much to my surprise, this week saw a decrease of 3.6 pounds for me, and a total weight loss of 36.6 pounds! Goodbye Plateau!

    WHAT DID I DO TO CHANGE THINGS?

    Beats the heck out of me. This week, much to the credit of severe insomnia, I have been too exhausted to work out. I have tracked my food intake faithfully, and I started calculating my calories. Yes, I know, Weight Watchers does not count calories, but I was desperate to break this 12-month vicious cycle! I found an App titled Lose It so I downloaded it to my iPhone.  Now, not only do I track my food on Weight Watchers, the Lose It program calculates the amount of calories I eat. At the moment, I calculate less than 1600 calories daily. According to this program, I could hit my goal in September 2014, based on my current history and my exercise routine.

    GOALS ESTABLISHED

    Losing weight is such a tedious, time-consuming task and when we hit a plateau, we could easily just throw in the towel and give up. For me, that is no longer my style. I made the commitment to lose weight the Weight Watchers way and if I had to change things a bit to make it work for me, it is worth the struggles — at least for me. I have a goal weight established and I am confident today I will accomplish that goal. Today was filled with encouragement for me. Next week is Thanksgiving and I have much to be thankful for, including the weight loss, not to mention the inches and dress sizes I am losing. I have much to be thankful for. Good health. Family. My precious four-legged children who warm my heart daily. A devoted husband. OK…I admit he drives me crazy and he could cause me to binge, but now, I ignore his PTSD attitude and MOVE ON!  I have a few Good friends, and so much more. Much of this is due to Weight Watchers. The friends and acceptance I have made is to the credit of my first step into the doorway of a Weight Watchers meeting. I will never forget how devastated I felt, especially when slipping on to the ‘confidential weigh-in.’ I wanted to place a bag over my head so no one would recognize me. What I discovered is something I never imagined — acceptance and encouragement. Everyone at Weight Watchers has walked in the same shoes.  They have been just as discouraged and fearful as I was, and now, we take it one day…one week…one month…one loss…at a time. Regardless of how long it takes to achieve goal, we are still — WEIGHT WATCHERS.

     

  • Doctor’s Scales vs. Weight Watchers Scales — WHICH One Is Correct???


    Dearest Readers:

    I hope you are doing well, enjoying the weekend. My plans for this morning were to go outside early and walk my silly children. Unfortunately, it is an overcasting morning with rain in the forecast, so the plans changed. I will play with my children, and hop on the treadmill instead. If I walk in the rain, I run a gigantic chance of getting ill, and for those of you who know, I was dreadfully ill from late October 2012 until January 19, 2013. I do not wish to repeat that illness. Isn’t it a bit funny how I remember the day I awoke feeling better, feeling that finally the acute bronchitis that strove to attack my body indefinitely, succumbed to my determination to get well. Crossing my fingers here for a moment, in hopes I do not get ill this year.

    Yesterday, I went to my doctor for my six month check. As you know, I have Type 2 Diabetes. My last blood work was great, with an A1C level of 5.4. I am hopeful my levels this time are still as good, and they certainly should be. It would be great IF my doctor phoned, telling me I no longer needed the oral drugs I must take for Diabetes. Next week, I look forward to the phone call, revealing those reports. Until then, I continue my daily habits. Perhaps “Daily Habits” is the subject matter for this blog today.

    Those of you who are regular readers of my blog know that I attend weekly Weight Watchers meetings, and lately, I feel as if I am on a roller coaster ride, or a yo-yo. Allow me to explain. For about seven months I have bounced, back and forth, with weight loss. One week, I drop a pound. The next week, I gain two pounds. Next week, drop .02, and on…and on… At the meetings, I’ve learned this is an expected process; however, after this week, I maintained – the same weight as last week. At my doctor’s office, according to his scale, I weighed exactly five pounds more than I did — the day before — at Weight Watchers??? How can that be? When I visit my doctor, I must fast for the blood work, so it could not be something I ate. I addressed this discovery to my doctor. His reply — “I’d go with the Weight Watchers scale.” Another discovery at my doctor’s office was — his scale is located within the traffic area of his office. To the right of the scale, a nice looking older guy sat. No doubt he was probably reading the scale, so when I jumped off, I moved the weights! Of course, this doctor’s scale is one of those antiquated ones that I have never trusted – the type where the weights must balance, and because of the size of it, there isn’t any privacy. I made a suggestion to my doctor for him to please have the scale located elsewhere – for privacy purposes. “Women prefer privacy,” I said. I don’t know if that will encourage them to move the scales to a different location, but it would make women feel better. What do you think, readers? Have you noticed at doctor’s offices, there is NO PRIVACY for scales??? Aren’t doctors supposed to have Privacy Laws? Isn’t what we weigh — PRIVATE?

    My doctor and I discussed many issues this time, including why I was having such difficulty losing weight now. I understand as we age, our metabolism slows down; however, I am an active woman. I work out five to seven days weekly. I eat healthy and track my foods via the Weight Watchers e-tools site. Years prior to Weight Watchers, I tried my best to work out on the treadmill. My goal was ten minutes. At first, I could not move for five minutes on the treadmill without huffing and puffing. I blamed it on asthma. Determined, I started moving on the treadmill more, working up to ten minutes…then 20…30, and now — I am proud to say, I can move on that treadmill for 50.30 minutes. I count it down with the timer on my phone. Never do I get winded now. I am so proud of that accomplishment, and the inches are coming off, but the weight — I do believe the brakes to my weight loss are locked in place.

    My doctor suggested going to Metabolic Weight Loss Medical Centers. http://www.goingmetabolic.com/faq.php I did a bit of research, reading their frequently asked questions site, and I have decided to remain with Weight Watchers. Years ago, I was successful with a weight loss program of drugs, shots and special meals, but this time I am determined to do this on my own — with the beauty, encouragement and lifestyle change of Weight Watchers. I have known people who have lost weight in this style and plan, but I am not motivated to go there. I want to accomplish my weight loss on my own — with Weight Watchers! Yes, it has been an incredibly slow process for me, but I have to remind myself that IF I stop and go to some other ‘weight loss’ plan, I will be hurting myself. I walked into Weight Watchers, mortified…ashamed…shaking like a leaf…afraid that someone would recognize me… When the leader saw that ‘familiar look’ on my face, she reached out to me, encouraging me. “We were all in those shoes before,” she said with a beautiful smile. Kathy, my leader, has become a friend. She is there to encourage me when I squeal with a weight loss, and she is still encouraging me when I frown. I do not consider that I am a ‘Loser’ — that is someone who gives up, and I am a ‘winner’ even when the scales say otherwise. Yes, it is taking such a long time, but I am truly liking the person I see, reflecting me, at the full-length mirror.

    I joined Weight Watchers because I wanted to accomplish my weight loss on my own. I wanted to be one of the women who says, “This I do for me,” and I wanted to feel the achievement of my own weight loss, regardless of the cost. I still believe I will break this bouncing rubber ball plateau, and I will accomplish my goals. After all, this I do for me. Now — if only I could persuade my doctor’s office to move their scales to a more private area. Wouldn’t that be an accomplishment!

  • Why I Must Attend Weekly Weight Watchers Meetings


    Dearest Readers:

    Yes, I Know I’ve Been Negligent About Weight Loss. Why? Simple. Life has a way of dictating and affecting my life, probably similar to your life. Days come and go. Since I joined Weight Watchers, I have devoted almost every Thursday to my meetings; however, after a bit of time, life really kicked in. I hit a plateau with my weight fluctuating up and down like a yo-yo. I grew despondent. I promised myself that I would not hit a plateau and I would not gain — again. That was not realistic for me, or anyone to believe. I suppose I was wearing rose-colored glasses, wanting to be different. The reality is — I am human! After that discovery, I got extremely ill with acute bronchitis. Trust me, no one wanted me around during that battle! I wanted to run away from myself!

    Now it is fall. Today is a breezy day in Charleston. The meeting at Weight Watchers was wonderful and this leads me to the reality of discussing what we do at a Weight Watchers meeting. Yes, we arrive, grab our card and weigh, but the weigh-ins are confidential. Standing at the desk, behind the scale is a receptionist or leader. Every leader I have met is wonderful – definitely well-trained, professional and compassionate, along with encouraging. Like today. I think I was the first to arrive, so I jumped on the scale hoping for a weight loss. Unfortunately, today, I gained .02 of a pound. Grumble…Grumble! The scale does not show the number, or dare I say it – your weight. The blessed weight number is only revealed to the leader or receptionist standing behind the counter. Never does this person reveal what you weigh. She simply writes it on your card and gives it back to you. Nothing is shared. Let me repeat that, nothing is shared. When I read my card, I said, “Rats…a gain, but only a slight gain! At least I am still coming to the meetings and I have to remind myself that IF I quit, then I would be gaining again, and again, and again.” I am convinced I cannot do Weight Watchers Online, and I cannot quit! If I quit, I lose — not weight, but so much more, and I am not a quitter — not anymore!

    If you have ever considered joining Weight Watchers, I highly encourage you to do it. Incidentally, I am not a receptionist, or a leader, for Weight Watchers, and I pay the same fees everyone else does, so there is no compensation here for me sharing my experience on my blog. My job as a writer is to share news, current events, stories and my life experiences with my public, and that is why I share and write about my struggles to lose weight.

    DIABETES MAY SLOW THE PROCESS
    To those of you who do not know, I was diagnosed with Type 2 Diabetes in 2005. I was shocked to discover that I had Diabetes, but when the reality kicked in, I decided it was time for me to become pro active and do what I could to care for myself and to control Diabetes. I researched Diabetes, determined that I could control it without injections. I confess, I have a phobia about needles and whenever I see one coming near me, I squeal lightly and turn my head away. I behave worse than an infant or an animal does when I get a shot. Such a baby! I’m pleased to share that within three months, my A1C level decreased from 8.0 to 5.4. My doctor was amazed! I had lost fourteen pounds in three months — all by myself by changing my eating and health habits. In 2011, I stopped losing weight. No matter what I did, exercise, eating properly and lifestyle change — nothing would help me to lose the additional weight, so one morning while listening to the local news, Jennifer Hudson shared that she had lost 80 pounds with Weight Watchers. I decided if Jennifer Hudson could look so good, so could I, and that is the morning I rushed to Weight Watchers. At first, I researched the Weight Watchers website, http://www.WeightWatchers.com and read a bit about the new Weight Watchers program. Dancing inside my head was the last experience I remembered — years ago, after joining Weight Watchers. Back then, a beige curtain hung by the area where the scales were placed. Although the scales were supposedly ‘confidential’ trust me — they were not! I remember hopping on them, like I was at the doctor’s office. I could see the number the last person experienced, and I was mortified! I am so happy to know that now, it isn’t that way. No dingy beige curtain hangs. Yes, the scale sits on the floor, but if anyone should pass by and look down, they see absolutely nothing but a scale without numbers! Confidential weigh-ins!!!

    Today, our session discussed moving, and how much we sit. Sitting at a computer desk. Sitting watching TV. Sitting while talking on the phone…sitting. The reality is we should stand and move more. Oops…I’ll be back in five minutes…I must move again!

    This week, I’ve been negligent, or as my son described himself once — a lazy lion. Insomnia captivates me at night and while I struggle to sleep, I grow exhausted. This week, I’ve used the treadmill once, due to insomnia…at least, that is my excuse. Sometimes our bodies dictate what we do, the actions, energies and exercise we get. No doubt, this week has been one of those weeks; nevertheless, I will get back on that treadmill! One major discovery for me at the meeting today was the times of the day I am active. For example, most mornings, I am active – busy with the demands of my life; taking my four-legged children for 30-40 minute walks three to five days weekly, then I jump on the treadmill for 30-40 minutes, and I end the work out with an upper body workout for about ten minutes, with exception of this week — my “Lazy Lion” week!

    During our weigh-ins at Weight Watchers we are given a “Weekly Reader,” with good tips, brief articles, recipes and suggestions about how we can adjust our daily lives so we accomplish goal. Today, I discovered my laziest moments are after dinner. At this household that is 6:00pm. After dinner, I am busy with the clean up. Other households work this together – but my husband is not the cook at home. Heck, he doesn’t even know how to turn on the stove or the oven, and let us not even discuss him loading the dishwasher or cleaning up. He DOES clean the table, and hand me his dishes, and then he drifts away to the TV for his extensive hand workout of surfing on the TV, while I clean up the kitchen. After this routine is completed, I usually join him, or shower, then I rest. What I need to do in the evening is another routine at the treadmill. Tonight, that will begin!

    I simply must get myself out of this “lazy lion” rut and continue my exercise routine. Now that the meditation and yoga, deep breathing tactics are helping me drift to sleep better, perhaps I will find the energy to get back to working out and walking my four-legged children. I swear, if I see Prince Midnight Shadow (my giant schnauzer) jump up at the hanging leashes again, I think I will scream from the guilt he is giving me. How is it a four-legged child can communicate so much to me, without saying or barking one word! It certainly did not take him long to learn that in this household our four-legged children rule! Silly me, I thought I was the adult here!

    If you desire to lose weight and have been curious about Weight Watchers, I strongly encourage you to attend a meeting. Although I was 100% mortified when I entered the meeting, I can truly say, Weight Watchers has changed my life. Now, I don’t overeat, nor do I snack or neglect breakfast. I have learned to eat something in the morning, usually a Greek yogurt and toast with my coffee. I’ll eat a light lunch and a small dinner, and I drink more water than ever! I no longer freak out from the scales, and when, on rare occasion, I go shopping, I must remind myself not to head to the larger sizes. On one occasion I bought a dress two sizes too large. I gave it to a friend!

    If considering Weight Watchers just remember — we are all wearing the same shoes. All of the members, and leaders, had to walk into a meeting – join – and reach goal. Although I haven’t reached goal — YET — I will, and when I do — I intend to celebrate while still counting the points, and this time, I’ll not feel guilty. After all, everyone is entitled to treat themselves — with Weight Watchers and with LIFE!

    If you find these columns helpful, please contact me and share your story, or simply introduce yourself. After all, we are all in the same shoes, and we all want to Dance!

  • Communicating With My Precious Animals


    My silly pups. Prince Midnight Shadow, my cold black giant schnauzer rushes inside to brush against the leashes, hanging near my office. He is telling me he is ready to walk today. “Mommy,” he says, staring into my eyes. “It’s nice outside today. The heat will not burn my paws. Can we go for a walk later?” I smile. Nod at him. Now, he is resting by the leashes. And to think, I’ve actually been told that only a ‘crazy person would believe that dogs communicate and understand what we are saying to them.’ I smile, snickering to those people saying, “Maybe you are the crazy one…I communicate with my animals. They understand what I say, and they love me for communicating and understanding their needs.’ Like earlier this morning, when Hankster the Prankster, my smallest mini-schnauzer, raised up by my legs, wanting me to pick him up. He doesn’t like to be picked up. He’s always afraid that he might get hurt. It is so obvious that he was mistreated by someone. It doesn’t matter who mistreated him. All that matters now is he is not closed inside a crate where he was barking…barking…barking…at the top of his little lungs when I agreed to foster him. It doesn’t matter that someone raised their arms to him, ready to attack him. It doesn’t matter that he was dropped off at a kill shelter, to end his life. What does matter is this little guy has found a home that loves him, regardless of his demeanor, temperament, and personality. He is finally getting more comfortable with us, and he hasn’t snapped at my husband’s hands in a few days. That is an accomplishment for him. Although he is small, he is powerful and quick with his mouth. He defends me from everyone!

    Hank is unafraid and will protect his mommy, at all cost. He doesn’t care that something or someone could harm him. He cares about me and his home. That is, now that he has a home that accepts him and is teaching him he doesn’t need to snap at others. All he needs to do is trust. Today, when he raised up on my legs, he scratched his little paw on my leg, as if to say, ‘pick me up, Mommy.’

    “What’s the matter, little buddy,” I asked him? “Do you want Mommy to pick you up?” He growled. When he growls it is usually a warning to back off, but I carefully scoop him up in my arms. He grunts, placing his little salt and pepper fur next to me, then he cuddles next to my neck. This is something he has never done before. He rears back, to look into my eyes. “What’s the matter, Hankster? Are you finally saying how much you love me and this home?”

    He grunts again. I place him down. Moments later, he returns. He wants me to pick him up again, and so, I do. We talk for a bit without saying words. Our eyes stare into one another. He moans, moves his head close to my chest. He is telling me how much he loves me. My eyes fill with tears.

    Today is Wednesday, a day of remembrance for me. On Wednesday, May 2, 2012, I lost my precious Prince Marmaduke Shamus, also known as “Shamey-Pooh.” Wednesdays are still a sad day for me. Words cannot express how deeply my heart ached after losing Shamey-Pooh. A tsunami of grief appeared to wash over me, like a gigantic, rushing, angry tide and for weeks I wasn’t certain if I would survive. I did survive. The sun still rose in the morning, and set at night. Bills still needed to be paid, and Father Time continued to tick, tick, tick the minutes of life by. Still, my heart ache for the loss of Shamus continued, and that is when I decided to foster Hank, until Schnauzer Rescue of the Carolinas could find a suitable home. Hankster and I bonded, even after he left our home for an adoptive home. I dreamed about him on several occasions, dreaming he wanted to come back to us. That dream came true, like many of my dreams.

    Last October, Hankster returned. When I suggested allowing us to pick him up from his adoptive parents, some people were afraid he would not remember us. At first, he seemed aggressive, only to relax inside the car when he heard me singing. Silly dog. I think he remembered that I liked to sing. Arriving home, he rushed inside, to the water bowl, the toy box, and to greet our children. Hankster announced, “Hey guys, I’m back!”

    Today, Hankster communicated to me — as if to say — thank you! Snuggling next to me for a few minutes, he grunted, and then he brushed my face with a soft kiss, something he never does! Now, he is resting next to me, along with Shasta, and Sandy Bear. Hankster is home! It is such a beautiful, cooler day outside so I’ve decided a brisk walk with my babies will be more healing to me than a treadmill!

  • Remembering 9-11-2001


    Remembering 9-11-2001, — I recall awakening a bit later than normal for me on 9-11-01, due to a headache. It was a beautiful day in Charleston. Bright sunshine, clear skies. The phone rang. I checked caller ID noticing it was my husband. “Now what is it he wants so early this morning?” Those of you who know us recognize that my husband would be surgically attached to me — IF he could! Answering the phone as my head pounded, his first words were, “Are you watching TV?”

    “No. I have a headache.”

    “I know how you love to stay in touch with current events. You might turn the news on. A jet has crashed into the World Trade Center.”

    My mind raced with dreadful thoughts. ‘How could this happen? How could a plane drift off course and crash into the World Trade Center?

    Turning the television on, I listened as the broadcasters speculated what was happening. The news was happening so quickly, speculations were changing every moment, every breath. No social media on that date. No Facebook. Twitter…just speculations as the broadcasters raced with bated breaths to report “the latest…” Cell phones around the locations of the World Trade Center were jammed. Communication was almost crippled.

    My mind drifted to those inside the World Trade Center. The receptionists, administrative assistants, food service workers, and others — trapped inside. What must it be like to glance outside the windows to watch an airplane approaching so closely one could almost see the color of the pilots eyes? What must it be like to see the plane crashing into the windows while recognizing you have no way to escape? Those questions would never be answered.

    Reports continued…smoke billowing out of the buildings. People rushing out of the building. Another report stated that the people inside of the World Trade Center were told to stay inside. “No way.” I said. “I would get out of that building.”

    My heart was heavy. Somehow I knew that something tragic was happening, and it was not an accident. A planned attack, to use American jets to crash into a building and kill Americans.

    Nothing was reported about that, at the moment. Speculations. Guesses…Reports unconfirmed…

    My mind drifted back to a nightmare I had a few nights prior to ‘9-11.’ In my dream there were four men dressed in black, moving across America, carrying weapons – shooting people on the beach, on the highways, and in populated areas. Never did I mention this horrific nightmare to anyone. I simply told myself I dreamed about the beach simply because I love the beach, and I love driving. I suppose I was psychoanalyzing my dreams. Weird! I have had visions such as this all of my life, just like my precious grandmother did.

    Now, I was glued to the television. Afraid to move away for fear I might miss something. I saw the plumes of smoke coming from the buildings, and I watched in horror as another plane crashed into the second World Trade Center.

    Shaking my head, I recognized this was not an accident, but a planned attack on America. In the blink of an eye, I recognized the United States of America was now at war. So frightening. So unexpected. Just how can this happen to US?

    News reports continued as the broadcasters interviewed people on the streets, family members, and a few of the people trapped inside the buildings. Rescue teams and first responders, fire fighters, and medical triages were ready to assist those who needed medical care and assistance to escape, but as the news continued, Americans watched in horror as people who could not escape found a tragic way out — jumping out of the buildings. Tiny images of bodies flying out of the building, falling…falling…falling into a horrific moment of death. Although I wanted to turn the television off, I could not. This was a day I would never forget. I kept praying that rescuers would free more of the people, but the reports were skimpy. “These people need to get out,” I prayed. “They aren’t safe…What if…may God forgive me…but what if the building crumbles to the ground?”

    I watched in horror as a horrific sound roared on the television and the building seemed to move, tumbling to the ground as smoke, debris, and the building fell to the ground.

    “How can this happen? And why — why are buildings built so tall that people cannot escape safely? Who would do this? What kind of monster would crash a jet into a building?”

    So many questions raced in my mind.

    Twelve years later, much has happened to our nation. We are at war with Iraq and Afghanistan. Many lives have been lost and America will never feel the safety we once felt. The safety we took for granted. For a brief time, Americans pulled together to help one another, never thinking or suspecting that if we reach out to others, we might be helping, in some small, caring way. Now, we have more violence in our cities. We see people talking and texting on phones, never acknowledging others, appearing to be clueless to what is happening nearby. We are so wrapped up in our own lives that we take life for granted once again.

    My wish for America is peace. Fellowship. Friendship. Trust and love for one another. We must remember 9-11, while recognizing that our lives have continued after such tragedy. I confess, it was difficult for me to awaken every morning for a while, without asking why. What would make someone such a monster that he would become so destructive, and that he and his followers would plan such an attack? Why?

    While it is true that Osama bin Laden has been killed, his death does not end the threat of terrorism. Terrorism is everywhere. Not just in other countries. Terrorism is everywhere. In our cities. Our towns. And just because one terrorist was killed, this does not end terrorism.

    Today is not a day to end this discussion with the subject of terrorism. Today, 9-11-2013, is a day of remembrance…a day to pray and give thanks for all that we, as Americans, have endured on 9-11-2001. May we move forward to embrace that we have life and freedom. Freedom comes with a cost. Sometimes a price that cannot be bought or expressed. Today is a day to embrace one another and to remember that many lives were lost, in the blink of an eye. None of us saw this coming. Today is a day to appreciate life and the loss of those we loved and lost, gone too soon.

    May we never forget — 9-11-01. Please take a moment today from your busy life to remember those we lost. The price we have paid. The threats we have experienced. On the morning of 9-11-01, our world changed dramatically. Let us never forget it, the victims, families, and freedoms so threatened. Let us pray that we never experience such a tragedy again.

    Today, my heart still breaks for those lost so unexpectedly, in the blink of an eye. Let us NEVER FORGET while we pray for our Nation, our soldiers in harms’ way, and for the freedoms we so cherish.

    Remembering 9-11.

  • Lightning, The Roaring Thunders – And Inner Storms for Charleston, SC And A Child of the Chattahoochee


    Storming outside — reminding me of the many storms I have endured, especially as a child. Still, these storms, especially when I see lightning, take me back to the sadness and pain I hid away for much too long. Perhaps the torrential rains are tears – the tears I cried as a child, then — refused to cry as an adult. Today is a day to go on record…effective next week, I will start a new challenge…

    This is my announcement to my fans, readers, and close friends. Many of you know how long I have played with the story idea I started many years ago. Now, I have convinced myself it is time — time for me to finish “Chattahoochee Child.”

    The story is a complicated one that at first, I had no concept of what it should be about. I kept changing it, basing it on life in the Chattahoochee, within the mill village of Bibb City. Nevertheless, after the death of my mother, I realized I have more material, plot points and characters to bring to life.

    And so, effective next Monday, I will set a new goal — to WRITE! I confess, I have not touched “Chattahoochee Child” in months. While reading about writing today, I realize the subjects in the materials I am reading today are written about me! I can so relate to the inner voice and the inner critic. A dialogue keeps playing with my mind, telling me — “You silly girl. You are NOT a writer.” Another critic shouts, “You’re too stupid to be a writer…Stupid is as stupid does…and YOU, are STUPID!”

    Sometimes at night, while fighting sleep, I hear these words, recognizing they are the words I heard as a child – for much too long. The cold, cruel, ridiculing words from my mother’s lips…And now, I know…I must complete this story. I must write it…shout it…scream it, if necessary, because I am a writer!

    Effective Monday, August 19, 2013, I will write 500 words daily – based on five working days. My goal is to complete “Chattahoochee Child” within six months and begin the marketing aspect of getting this story published.

    I am sharing this with my reading public to force me to complete this story. I must confront my inner critics, inner voices and WRITE!

  • Losing Weight Is Such A Challenge


    Dearest Readers:

    Today is a new day. A new month. Tomorrow, Phil and I will celebrate another anniversary. How many years….that I am keeping to myself. Let’s just say, I was a teenage bride…much too young to marry at such a young age…but my marriage has helped me to grow, to blossom into the woman I am today.

    Today was my weekly Weight Watchers weigh-in, only this time, I could not go. Last night my right knee decided to make popping noises again, and when it did, I knew I was in for another challenge in my life. All night long I fought with the pain. Using a pillow to elevate my leg and knee. It hurt worse. I tossed and turned and today, I am totally exhausted. Earlier, I chose to climb back into the bed, to see if relaxation would help the knee to stop throbbing. I coated the knee with Bio Freeze, placed a cool pack on it, freezing it. An hour later, I hopped out of bed, literally. The knee actually bent as I slid off the bed, and it felt better. Still, it hurts, but nothing like it did last night. No doubt, I’ll not wear platform heels for a few days, but never fear, this chick will wear them again!

    Now, I’ve missed two weeks of weekly meetings at Weight Watchers. Next week I WILL be back, even if I have to hop around. The knee is feeling better now, after a day of rest. I planned to use the treadmill today, deciding it might be best to take a day off from working out. The knee doesn’t appear to be swollen, but it is extremely tight. I will give it a few days and if it doesn’t get better, I’ll phone my doctor. No way will I have surgery. I’m simply determined not to give in to the pain. As long as I can move around, dance, and exercise, all will be fine. Yes, it hurts to sit down, and getting back up, the first step is a challenge, but this determined, stubborn chick will not give in!

    So today is a day to recognize that when life makes lemons, I must make lemonade. I truly miss my meetings at Weight Watchers, but I know another week will come, and I will see improvement with my leg. Exercise is truly the key. Through exercise and moderation, I will step back into the meetings, see my friends and know that soon I will reach my goal.

    The beauty of attending meetings at Weight Watchers is the encouragement, knowledge, and social aspects of recognizing that when we have unexpected challenges, such as my battles with my knee, or whenever life dictates my schedule, I can return to Weight Watchers and feel better about my losses, gains, or setbacks. What I have learned the most is that every day is a new day, and when life gives lemons, I simply move to get myself back in the saddle again. Perhaps a cliché, but — that is my way of thinking now. I no longer beat myself up with negative thoughts, I simply move — like now, while I force my painful knee to move, so I can continue the pursuit.

    I am hopeful that next week I will be able to report that my knee is better and so am I.

    Until we meet again — “stick to the fight when you’re hardest hit…It’s when things seem worse, you mustn’t quit…”
    -Anonymous-

  • Losing Weight — Definitely a Work In Progress


    Dearest Readers:

    Today is another dreary, cloud covered day in Charleston, SC. We’ve had so much rain it is almost impossible to report how many inches our beautiful city has tolerated. I have lost count. At least my lawn is looking better and the zoysia plugs we planted appear to be growing a bit, this time. We also have a bumper crop of mosquitoes and ants. Ants have enjoyed snacking on my feet, so much so that I am hesitant to wear sandals much anymore. Such is the life of living in the South!

    Last week, I did not write about my life as a Weight Watcher. I lost .06 of a pound, but I must say, inches appear to be falling off of me, and that is good! Yes, I am working out more, using my treadmill almost daily.

    Last evening, I watched a program that is new to me. Extreme Weight Loss. http://abc.go.com/shows/extreme-weight-loss/video/PL55124937/_m_VDKA0_fno7e7bt?CID=google_sem_1. For two hours, I watched the struggles and accomplishments of “Trina.” I could relate to her story in a small way, due to the manipulations I endured with my mother. When Trina lost weight, I cheered. When I watched her stuffing her face with unhealthy choices — cookies in the early morning with a large glass of whole milk — birthday cake — and so much more, I became curious if she truly had the strength and commitment to lose her weight. At the beginning of Trina’s story, she weighed 290.1 pounds. She lost down to 149 pounds on day 270, only to gain 32 pounds at her next weigh-in. Trina is truly addicted to food — especially unhealthy junk food. Fortunately, at the ending of the show, she met her goal of 145 pounds and she truly grew into a beautiful flower. The question at hand is — will she keep it off? Unless Trina truly deals with her food addiction, I think not.

    When I joined Weight Watchers, I was not totally convinced that I would stick to the program, and that I would achieve my weight goal. After seeing “Extreme Weight Loss,” I am convinced that my determination with Weight Watchers will be successful. Why?

    Simple. With the support and encouragement I receive at Weight Watchers meetings, I have learned that I am not in this journey alone, and I have made many new friends, just by going to the meetings. While it is true, I do not need a program such as “Extreme Weight Loss,” since I do not have over 100 pounds or more to lose, like the guests on Extreme Weight Loss, I have discovered I cannot accomplish my goals alone. In all honesty, I wish I had stuck it out with Weight Watchers years ago — back in the days when everything had to be weighed and fruit was not encouraged. I tried other programs, only to lose the weight and gain it back. So much for learning something back in those days!

    I do hope the guests on “Extreme Weight Loss” manage to keep their weight off, and NEVER EVER gain it back again. Chris Powell, the transformation specialist, is a motivational expert who gets a bit frustrated when someone weakens, such as Trina did. After last night, I do believe I am a fan of “Extreme Weight Loss,” because it is the type of show that teaches those suffering with obesity that they can change their behaviors and lose the weight. OK…in all honesty, I think they lose an amazing amount of weight a bit quickly…Yes, they exercise and they are supposed to learn healthy eating habits, but someone such as Trina seems to be a loose cannon who might slip back into her old habits again — much to the credit of a cruel, domineering mother who teaches her that she is unworthy, and a husband and family that truly attempted to trigger her old habits. One of the children rushed off to get fast food and root beer on one of the sound bites, only to bring it home and eat it while Trina watches. So much for a supportive family!

    My husband attempts to trigger me, at times, by suggesting pizza or fast food, and when I mention “Remember, I’m doing Weight Watchers,” he steps back. I suppose he sees my dedication. He certainly knows how slowly I lose weight. Since joining Weight Watchers, I have grown so much — not in size — that is shrinking! I have grown as a woman…as a person…I have grown into someone who truly thinks twice about what I’m consuming. I suppose one could say Weight Watchers has become my life. Now, that I am a fan of “Extreme Weight Loss,” I will probably continue watching the program since it is encouraging. I do have a problem with the sound bites of where the guests get surgical procedures to tighten the skin, simply because the program only touches on this segment of the show. The end result is either a handsome or beautiful makeover.

    Nevertheless, I will continue my journey — the Weight Watchers way. I am reaching my goals and soon, perhaps — my star will shine for me — the Weight Watchers Way!

    What I’ve learned during my journey:
    Healthy eating works. Eat fresh fruits and vegetables.
    Record everything consumed either in a journal, or on the Weight Watchers e-tools site. This certainly helps.
    When falling off the wagon — my reference to when I’ve consumed something I shouldn’t have consumed — I hop back on. I no longer beat myself to death by feeding negative thoughts. I replenish by whispering positive feedback…and for me, that is truly an accomplishment since as a child, my mother ridiculed me, telling me I would never amount to anything. She reminded me that I would never lose weight because I was ugly and didn’t deserve to be beautiful or worthy of love. I believe in the power of positive thoughts and feedback and I tell myself that when I fall down, I have no where else to go — but UP! Achieving my weight loss is reassuring me that I do deserve better things in life…just like my dad reminded me, until the day he breathed his last breath.

    A few weeks ago at the Weight Watchers meeting, we discussed “anchors” and how anchors help us to continue our pursuit. My anchor is a simple one – something I read and repeat to myself daily:

    “Success is failure turned inside out.
    The silver tint of the clouds of doubt.
    And you never can tell how close you are.
    It may be nearer when it seems afar.
    So, stick to the fight when you’re hardest hit.
    It’s when things seem worse, you mustn’t quit!”

    -Anonymous-

    The last stanza is what I whisper to myself daily:
    “So, stick to the fight when you’re hardest hit.
    It’s when things seem worse, you mustn’t quit!”

    I hope you will continue reading my saga with Weight Watchers.
    Weight Watchers — “Because it Works!”