Barbie Perkins-Cooper, Author

Tag: heart

  • TODAY IS — HEART DAY…


    Dearest Readers:

    Today, according to my headline is “Heart Day.” Perhaps you are a bit curious as to why I say today is Heart Day. Allow me to explain. The morning of February 4, 1998 I awoke, dreading the day. My dad was at Roper Hospital on the 5th floor, fighting desperately and oh so weakly, for his life. Esophageal cancer was trying to take his life. On February 2, of the same year, my husband was rushed to Roper Hospital with suspected heart problems. After a cardiac catheterization procedure, http://www.mayoclinic.org/tests-procedures/cardiac-catheterization/basics/definition/prc-20023050 the cardiologist recommended heart surgery since four of Phil’s arteries were blocked. If my memory is correct, two of the blockages were at 90% or higher. I have to admit, my memory is a bit lacking where the statistics and medical diagnosis during this stressful time. Two of the most significant men in my life were now fighting for their lives.

    On the morning of February 4, I remember driving to the hospital, arriving extremely early so I could kiss my dad good morning, and be with my husband during the prepping time for his surgery. What I did…who I was with…discussions…etc…etc… are a cloud of fog inside my brain, but I do remember praying, and I do remember going to the chapel — alone — so I could talk with God…say a prayer and light a candle.

    All throughout the day I had friends drop by to see how I was doing. When they wheeled Phil to surgery, I remember walking along the gurney, holding his hand. I forced myself to be strong. “Don’t you dare cry…” I kept saying quietly to myself. “You have to be strong!” I did not have my immediate family with me. My son was out-of-town. Additional family members lived in Georgia, so I could not expect them to be with me. Besides, everything happened so fast. On February 2, I got a phone call at work, from ‘Karen at the doctor’s office.’ Funny, I thought. Why is Karen phoning me when Dad is in the hospital now. When I answered the phone, I discovered Karen was my husband’s doctor’s nurse. She was calling to tell me Phil was rushed to Roper Hospital. “This can’t be happening,” I whispered. “Both of my guys are at the same hospital. This must be a nightmare.”

    There was a black cloud hanging over me!

    On the date of February 4, as I kissed Phil bye, I wiped a tear from his face. I confess…I’ve never seen this man cry, until that day. I entered the cardiac waiting area. I asked someone where I could get a cup of coffee, recognizing I needed additional caffeine to get me thru this date. I was told we could not bring coffee, drinks of any kind, or snacks into the waiting area. Yes, it was a new, beautiful waiting room, but I ask — have you EVER sat in a waiting room, alone at the moment, without caffeine???

    A few minutes passed. A friend joined me. Later, there were more friends…many…so many that if I listed all of them, I am certain I would leave someone out, and I would never want to seem ungrateful.

    As the hours ticked away, I continued closing my eyes for a moment, to silently pray. I do remember one prayer. “Please God…I have two of the dearest men in my life fighting for their lives now. Please…God…give us all more time to be together. Please.”

    I made a promise to myself. I had total faith that Phil would survive this day, and I intended to make this day — the Fourth of February, a special day for us to remember…February 4 will be our Heart Day.

    For many years, I kept that promise, but like all things in life, the demands of life have a way of making us forget. This morning when I awoke I found myself contemplating — February 4…What is it about February 4 that continues to echo in my mind. I stopped for one brief moment, remembering that we lost our precious little Maltese on the 4th of January. Could that be the reason February 4 keeps ringing in my ears and brain?

    On the way to get my nails done, the date of February 4 finally clicked! Today is Heart Day! I confess, its been years since I’ve bought a card, or wished Phil a Happy Heart Day, but today was a new day and I promised myself that this date would not slip by without a card, or some silly memento of the occasion. After all, not everyone gets a Heart Day!

    Yes, Readers, you might call me silly, or a romantic…or someone who is so unpredictable that she would strive to make the most of something, especially a special day. I confess, I am definitely — silly, romantic, and unpredictable! Today is the 16th anniversary of my husband’s heart surgery. SIXTEEN YEARS! Still, his heart is going…even when he gets in his PTSD rages and I have doubts that he DOES HAVE A HEART. Nevertheless, today is Phil’s Heart Day.

    Sitting on top of his computer in a bag is a silly little stuffed animal with a heart and “You Fill My Heart” inscribed. Yes, it’s silly, but what the heck. Isn’t that what life is all about?

    Shouldn’t we all take the time to stop…for just one moment to cherish those important moments in our lives? Phil and I did not have a wedding, so getting married wasn’t exactly a precious moment. We’ve lived together for such a long time now that it is hard to remember exactly how L-O-N-G we’ve been married. I say I’ve been married ALL OF MY LIFE because in many ways it is true. I married three months after high school graduation. In all reality, I never had a life until I got married…so it’s no wonder I say, “I’ve been married ALL OF MY LIFE!”

    So, for those most significant moments in our lives, we must cherish and strive to appreciate these precious moments, such as ‘Phil’s Heart Day.’

    After his heart surgery, I was happy to know that Phil does have a heart. You have to get to know Phil to understand why I say that! Let’s just say, someone who has been to a war zone and saw the horrid things that happen in a combat zone, only helps to almost destroy the person who has seen the emotional scars of war. Phil suffers with PTSD. Yes, he has good days and bad days…but today is Phil’s Heart Day!

    Sixteen years of heart surgery…Let’s continue hoping and praying for the best!

    Happy Heart Day!

  • Smoking Is So Cool…Just Ask the Younger Generation And In the Future…Welcome to the Zipper Club!


    Over the weekend my husband and I went to karaoke at Broadway at the Beach, Myrtle Beach, SC. I must say, it was a mistake for me to assume that Myrtle Beach is non-smoking. Not at Broadway at the Beach Karaoke. Entering, I smelled the familiar scent that burns my nostrils and eyes. “Oh No… They smoke in here.” I said. We sat down and I asked the waitress what area was non-smoking.

    “None,” she replied.

    “Great…this will be a fun night.”

    At first, the ventilation fought the disgusting cigarette plumes. Later in the evening, with every person in their 20’s to 30’s appearing to smoke, the cigarette smoke won. Three guys, obviously drunker than any skunk, continued to walk behind my chair…ALWAYS BUMPING ME. Never apologizing, and oh so quick to blow smoke in my direction. I tapped one on the shoulder. “Could you please move downwind, please?”

    He was so drunk he could not comprehend what I was saying, or maybe he did not care.

    I was under the impression that the younger generation were now educated to understand that smoking is no longer cool. In fact, it is downright dangerous. Second hand smoke is just as dangerous too…but they continued to smoke…and smoke…drink…and smoke…smoke and drink. I suppose you get the picture. No doubt in future years they will learn to regret what smoking does to the lungs and the heart. I hope and pray they comprehend this before it is too late.

    In one word, smoking KILLS! Not only does the smoke radiate throughout the area, the scent of tobacco remains in clothing, shoes, hair and everywhere. I was so happy when we decided to leave Broadway at the Beach. Outside, the younger generation was everywhere — smoking. I had to fan smoke away outside. Talk about pollution!

    I am married to a former smoker. He refused to ever give up smoking until February 2, 1998, when he was rushed to the hospital for tests, suspecting heart disease.

    February 4, 1998 was his last day to smoke. After his admittance to the Cardiac Care area of Roper Hospital in Charleston, he was permitted to smoke, even though the area was non-smoking. A most caring nurse who had the cigarette habit told him “he could crank out the window in his room, to smoke. No one will know,” she said. How considerate of her. I followed her out of the room. “Excuse me, nurse. May I speak with you for a moment…privately?”

    She looked into my eyes. Quickly we moved to a closet. She turned the light on. “While it was extremely thoughtful of you to share how you smoke on this floor, you do realize my husband is a heart patient, probably scheduled for heart surgery…What you said to him I did not appreciate. Would you like me to go to H-R and report your behavior, or will you promise me you will never suggest this again?”

    Her mouth popped open.

    “I will not report this behavior, but don’t you ever do this again to ANY HEART PATIENT. Do you understand?”

    She nodded. I think I got my point across.

    February 4, 1998 my husband joined the “Zipper Club.” To those of you who do not understand the terminology, it is a special club established for anyone who has had cardiac surgery and has a zipper in the chest.

    Thank you cigarettes!

    My wish for you in the younger generation who light up every few minutes is to never receive an invitation to the zipper club. It isn’t a nice club to become familiar with. Please, when you smoke, think about what you are doing to your body, and to those around you who tolerate the disgusting smell of cigarettes. Your friends. Children. Wives and Husbands and Loved Ones. Cigarette smoking is dangerous to your health.

    Instead of smoking, play with your cell phones while realizing that life is short and with every cigarette you light up, smoke and inhale, you are cutting your life even shorter!

    Thank you for NOT SMOKING!

     

  • Happy Valentine’s Day


    Today, February 14, 2013 is Valentine’s Day. Reportedly, Valentine’s Day began when ‘a French man by the name of Charles, the Duke of Orleans wrote the first Valentine after he was captured during a battle in 1415.’ There are many beliefs about the importance of Valentine’s Day…how the Romans celebrated a festival on February 15…An additional myth is “Valentine’s Day is based on a belief that birds pick their mates on February 14, especially love birds.”  http://www.sunniebunniezz.com/holiday/valenday.htm 

    For me, Valentine’s Day grew to become a special day for love and appreciation after my husband had heart surgery in February, 1998. When the doctor met with me after my husband’s surgery, I jokingly shared that I was surprised he actually found a heart. “Sometimes he appears to be heartless,” I responded, thanking him for letting me know the prognosis.

    My husband’s recovery was short. He simply refused to rest and follow the doctor’s orders. He quit smoking, but he’s gained a significant amount of weight, blaming it on not smoking anymore. The reality is ‘he lives to eat.’

    Since 1998, there has been a new appreciation for us at Valentine’s Day. Today is no exception.

    If you are reading this, why not take an extra moment in time to let your loved ones know that they are a part of your Valentine’s Day…no matter who they are…no matter where they live, or what they believe…take one moment in time to say, “Happy Valentine’s Day!”

    Yes, no doubt today you will see lots of red…lots of expensive roses and flowers, cupids, red hearts, candies, love birds, arrows, and all that apply to a Happy Valentine’s Day. Years before his surgery, my husband used excuses for Valentine’s Day. He was ‘too busy,,,he forgot…besides, Valentine’s Day is a day for lovers, not married people…’ and so on. Funny, in 1998, he began taking the time to get me a card for Valentine’s Day. A nice card…something he actually picked out himself. Perhaps he found a new heart  after his heart surgery!

    Regardless who you are, please take a moment today on Valentine’s Day, to let those who are cherished by you, know how much they mean to you.

    A simple “Happy Valentine’s Day” will do!