Barbie Perkins-Cooper, Author

Tag: happy

  • Losing Weight — the Weight Watchers Way!


    Dearest Readers:

    If you are a regular follower of my blog, you are familiar with the saga I write and share about losing weight. I confess, I’ve had difficulty with weight gains, weight losses, all of my life. Now that I am an active and regular member of Weight Watchers, I truly believe I have finally found the key, motivation and determination to achieve my weight goal. No, I haven’t established a goal — yet, but as the pounds (and lots of inches) are finally decreasing now, I have a possible goal in mind. Someday in the near future, I will meet with my leader, to confirm that goal.

    Today is Monday. My regular weigh in day is Thursday. Last Thursday I was a bit too tired to go to the meeting. This week, I will face the music, regardless how tired I am. Last night was another night of no sleep; however, it wasn’t due to my ‘circular thinking,’ but a lack of comfort in my home. When we went to bed last night, I checked the thermostat, discovering it was a bit hot in our home — 75 degrees. I tossed and turned, unable to sleep, I rose from the bed, strolled around the house a bit, noticing the thermostat read 77 degrees. We have our thermostat set at 71, so I was a bit suspicious. Rushing with thoughts of my household budget, I prayed that if something was wrong with our air conditioner, I had to be prepared to ‘juggle the budget’ once again. My husband is on furlough now on certain days of the week, cutting into our income. Thanks so much, Congress! No, I don’t blame Congress completely for my having to juggle a budget, but at least I am confident that I can make a decision. Congress — well, we all know they are members of the “Good Ole Boys” club and cannot have the courage to make a decision. As for the women in Congress, they are a bit outnumbered, so I’m certain their voices are not heard by those imbecile Good Ole Boys!

    But, the discussion about Congress is for another time! Last night was a total lack of sleep, so at 3:45am I phoned our heating and air company. The temp in the house was steadily climbing — now 78 degrees. My chest was wheezing, my skin damp to the touch, and the fan in the room was a bit dusty, needing a good cleaning. Asthmatics have a dreadful time cleaning fans. The service technician arrived early this morning, just a few minutes before 9am. I was prepared to have an additional expense, so I sat in the kitchen, drinking coffee while Phil worked with the tech. We were lucky this time. The $84.00 service charge to come out to check our unit would be covered under the extended warranty since our unit is only eight years old. The capacitor was bad, so the tech replaced it, had us sign an invoice and presented us with a $0.00 fee! Thank you, God. Still, it is hot in the house – last check, the thermostat read 76 degrees. At least the air is circulating now and I can breathe better, along with my precious pups.

    Mondays are usually my scheduled day to do extensive household cleaning, the usual weekly vacuuming, dusting, scrubbing floors, bathrooms, etc. Today, I have managed to talk myself out of this work, and I’ve talked myself out of jumping on the treadmill. I am simply too exhausted to “Move” today. This got me thinking — how do we cope when life gives us lemons, makes us depressed, and manages to convince us that ‘today will be a slow day?’

    Last week, I exercised every day. Weeks, or perhaps months ago, when I started using the treadmill and other exercise equipment I have at home, my goal was to do fifty side bends, fifty ab crunches, and ten minutes on the treadmill. Energized, I increased all and can now do the treadmill at a faster rate for thirty, sometimes forty minutes. Today, there is no way, but I will find my motivation again. I am getting so many compliments now and that is truly my motivation. I have a goal to reach, and with the will of myself and the strength I get from God, I will achieve this goal.

    Today, I’ve decided I must take baby steps again. Even though it has been a stressful day, I am sticking to the plan, just not the moving aspect of it. Oh well. Better days are ahead!

    Today, it is my turn to share with all of you this simple statement — when you are exhausted, stressed, discouraged, or just not motivated, it is ok to take a day off. Tomorrow when the sun shines, you can strive to take baby steps for your success. My Weight Watchers journey has been a two-year struggle. I have had days and weeks when I cannot get motivated. I’ve missed meetings. I’ve eaten things I should not eat, but what I have discovered on this exciting adventure is even when I go off the wagon,’ I pick myself up, have a sincere discussion with myself, and I restart and re-energize.

    Today is one of those days. I’ve never been one to eat at midnight, or to grab snacks. I do not have any junk food or snacks in my pantry or hidden in my home. I have fresh fruit ready always. Today, I am so tired that food or snacks does not interest me. I’ve told my husband that I am much too tired to cook dinner tonight in an uncomfortable house, so we will go out for dinner. No doubt, I will stick to my Weight Watchers program, in hopes tonight I will be able to sleep.

    Today, I have decided I must:
    *Drink plenty of water. I usually start every morning with a cold glass of water with lemon, just before I have coffee. Today, I did not do that. I suppose I was just a bit too worried about the household budget. Lessons learned – don’t worry, be happy. Life will get me by, along with the prayers and my belief in God.
    *Track my foods online and on my Iphone. I’ve been a bit negligent about that lately. Lessons learned!
    *Exercise – I strive for thirty minutes daily. On days like today, I have been one lazy, exhausted woman…and that truly is not my style. Lessons Learned!!!

    *When God gives lemons, make lemonade. Don’t focus on the negative aspects of life, and we all have them…silly moments where we dare to eat something we shouldn’t — or we binge…Focus on the positive…the encouraging compliments of others. Don’t dwell on today was a bad day. As my father shared with me throughout my life, focus on the positive, not the negative. Lessons Learned!to
    *Encourage yourself while knowing that gaining weight is a process where we put weight on over a period of time. Losing weight is the same process…it simply appears to take longer than we expected. Take weight loss one day at a time. Lessons Learned!

    Today started as a bad day for me. Hot. Uncomfortable. Difficulty breathing. Now, I am focusing on the reality that even though the morning started in a bad way, the sun is shining. My home is getting more comfortable and although I am taking the day off and doing nothing but reading, tomorrow I will jump back on the band wagon while knowing that today did not shatter me to the point that I’ve eaten everything I should not eat. Eating takes exercise, and I’m too tired to eat today!

    As for tomorrow, I will accomplish my goals. How about you? I’d love to hear your comments!

  • Happy Fourth of July, America’s Independence Day!


    Dearest Readers,

    Happy Fourth of July…America’s Independence Day! Today, America will celebrate this tradition by grilling burgers, drinking beer, and other alcoholic beverages, because it is a tradition. Many will overeat, or gorge themselves with unhealthy foods and such. While it is true, I will celebrate, I will be careful what I intake, because, as you all know, I am actively involved with my Weight Watchers.

    Today America celebrates our freedoms. While it is a true statement that many of our freedoms are questionable…negotiable…and…a bit controversial, we do have freedom to do what we choose. Let us hope we make the right decisions on this date, and every day.

    I worry about our country, simply because we have a Congress that is hesitant to make decisions..that is — until they recognize that those decisions might affect their life, or pocketbook. Recent actions only prove that statement. Years ago, I respected our Congress…today, I’d love to have a deep discussion with them, to perhaps open their eyes to how their decisions, or LACK of decisions are affecting our country. Nevertheless, today is a day to celebrate while we still have soldiers in war zones, fighting for our freedom. On this date, let us hope we do not lose any troops in Afghanistan, Iran, or other war zones. Let us lift our hands to give thanks to our troops, wherever they are stationed. Let us pray that they will return to our Nation and to recognize that they have the respect and love of our Nation, so unlike our precious Vietnam Veterans had. Let us embrace them while recognizing that they are forever changed and will never be the same soldiers they were before serving in a war zone.

    May God bless our troops and keep them safe on the Fourth of July. May God bring them home safely so we can say “Thank you for your service.” Then, may we embrace them and celebrate their safe return, just like we celebrate on Independence Day. Happy Fourth of July, let freedom ring!

  • On Father’s Day


    Good morning, Readers:

    Another beautiful day filled with sunshine for Father’s Day 2013. This day is special to all who were close to dear ole Dad. As a child, I remember babysitting or cleaning, just to get a bit of money to buy my dad, and my papa, a Father’s Day gift. For both, I bought ties, since Papa wore ties to church on Sunday morning, and Dad wore ties to work nightly. Papa was a mill worker, a loom fixer at the dictatorial Bibb Manufacturing Company. Dad worked in the hotel industry as a night auditor. I respected both of them, striving to always please them.

    Over the years, as I grew older, Papa became highly critical of me, refusing to accept that I was growing up, and as a teenager, I loved rock and roll music, singing, dancing, and wearing makeup. As for my dad, he encouraged me. Yes, he had a quick hand and would swat us when we misbehaved, but he encouraged me to sing and to ‘move forward with life…don’t look back.’ Those wise words taught me lots about life. I practice those words in my daily life whenever I make mistakes, or someone hurts me. I look for the sunshine in tomorrow, not the rain that has fallen around me in the past.

    Papa died from Alzheimer’s Disease in the late 1980’s. The last time I saw him, he resided in a nursing home, strapped to a wheelchair, looking out the window at birds in the trees. Perhaps a metaphor for his younger days, when he was gentle and kind and loved to fish. On my last visit to see Papa, he did not know me. When I touched his shoulder to give him a hug, he screamed at me. He didn’t know me. I thought he had disowned me since he disapproved of me many years ago. Later, while working on research for a story about Alzheimer’s, I recognized the reality was, deep inside Papa’s eyes, he rejected me not because he did not love me…deep inside his brain, he didn’t know much of anything…His brain could not process that I was his granddaughter. Perhaps a hard thing to accept when we are young, rebellious and no longer the ‘apple of my grandfather’s eye.’ I’ve written about Papa many times. An award-winning screenplay titled, “Not My Papa,” is based on my grandfather’s life as a textile mill worker in Bibb City, Georgia.

    My dad lost his torrential battle with esophageal cancer on July 6, 1999, while I was opening the door to his room in a nursing home. Losing my dad tore my heart out for a long time. I had difficulty understanding how the sun could set, and rise again the next morning when my dad could no longer see the sun setting. “How can life continue when I no longer have my dad…I’m an orphan without him.’

    On Father’s Day, I take a moment to reflect on the significant men who helped guide me into the life I live today. My Dad…My overly-strict grandfather, and my husband. All of these men have guided me — sometimes with a controlling hand — leading me on the path to becoming the woman I am today.

    I hope they are proud of me. For most of the time, my husband, Phil, says he is proud of me, although there are times I see his eyes rolling upward, as if to say, “There she goes again!”

    Regardless – I would like to express how much I have cared for these men. As children, we watch the actions of our father, sometimes, they lead us to doing the same behaviors they performed on us. As wives, we watch our husbands, hopeful they are proud of us and will love us until the end of time.

    Life is truly a challenge. We awaken daily, hopeful of ‘making this a good day…’ And so we live, without looking back…moving forward…making the most of each day. We hope for tomorrow, only to recognize that tomorrow might bring challenges, heartbreak, or disappointments, but we must remember to follow the words of advice our dads gave us as children. “Don’t look back on life…move forward…”

    Today, I can hear my dad saying those words to me. I thank him for his wisdom and his love.

    Happy Father’s Day to our Dads…and thank you for guiding us along this path of life.

    There is a passage I say to myself almost daily. I suppose it is my anchor:

    “Stick to the fight when you’re hardest hit…
    It’s when things seem worse — you mustn’t quit!”

    Happy, Happy Father’s Day!

  • Today is Weight Watchers Weigh-In Day…


    Dearest Readers:

    Outside the windows by my desk, I see beautiful, welcoming, beaming sunshine, and bright blue clouds. My mimosa trees and oak trees are dancing with gentle strides as the mild wind brushes the branches. Another beautiful day, in beautiful Charleston, SC. Opening the back door to let my precious four-legged children inside, my body feels the unbearable heat of summertime in the City of Charleston. But wait…it isn’t summer yet! According to a weather forecast it is currently 102 degrees outside now. Thank goodness I had my heating and air system serviced a few weeks ago! The air outside is stagnant!

    Today was my weigh-in day at Weight Watchers. For over seven months I have dreaded weigh-ins. I confess, I hop on my bathroom scales daily — every morning, after awakening. This morning, my scales indicated a loss. I dressed quickly in anticipation of having a good day at Weight Watchers.

    Arriving early, I said Good Morning to several members, found my membership card in the box and stepped up to weigh. I felt confident that today would be a good day. The scales at Weight Watchers are
    ‘confidential’ — after you step on the scales, if you look down to see what the weight is, you cannot see it, nor can others. So, for those of you curious as to how weigh-ins are confidential at Weight Watchers meetings, trust me when I say they are CONFIDENTIAL! No one, with exception of the Weight Watchers receptionist assisting you will know what you weigh. In anticipation of another weekly weigh-in, curiosity was getting the best of me so I asked…’did I have a good week?’

    The receptionist smiled, folded the booklet, and said, “You’re doing great, Barbie…” She handed me my pocket-size weight record. “Six-tenths of a pound — down!” I whisper… What, you say? Only six-tenths of a pound???

    To those of you who are reading my Weight Watchers saga on a regular basis, you understand I lose ever so SLOWLY! Six-tenths of a pound is a good week…in fact, ANY WEEK that I lose is a good week. I’ve battled with a plateau for over seven months. My friends are surprised that I have ‘stuck it out…’ and If I am truthful, so am I. After suffering with a dreadful illness of acute bronchitis for three months, I began to excuse myself from Weight Watchers…I was too weak…too tired…too sleepy…or too busy for my Weight Watchers meetings… During this time, I saw the scales escalating again. I became depressed. Who cares if I lose weight, I told myself. Only to answer — Hey silly girl…You Do!

    To those who read this and are so encouraging of me while I am walking along this journey of weight loss, I must stress, it was hard to go back, after missing so many weeks…It was difficult to admit that I was so weak, I stopped caring – for a bit.

    As we, the Weight Watchers, and those who wish to find the courage and strength to join Weight Watchers, say — losing weight is truly a challenge. I have been on a yo-yo with weight loss since my childhood. My family made fun of me, telling me I was too fat to be ‘so pretty…’ They said I had a ‘pretty face, but I wasn’t pretty.’

    I let those words echo back and forth inside my mind for years…many years. I grew up thinking I was an ‘ugly duckling, or a pig,’ nevertheless, I did my best to look my best, wearing my cousin’s hand-me-downs, wearing makeup and styling my hair. Still, I felt ugly…ever so fat and ugly!

    Somehow, on March 3, 2011, I found the courage and strength to open the door to Weight Watchers. Now, I say to anyone wishing to lose weight swallow your pride, and take that first baby step to Weight Watchers. You will not hear anyone gossiping or ridiculing your decision to join. What you will find is friendship, encouragement, and pride. Even a small weight loss, such as ‘six-tenths of a pound’ is a weight loss. Weight gains? We all have them. I’ve certainly had my share, and at the moment, I must say, since I am working out regularly and moving regularly, I am losing many inches. No, I haven’t measured, but my clothes are fitting better than ever, and the sizes are getting smaller, and smaller.

    When I use the treadmill, three days weekly, or more — I have to fight with my mini-schnauzer, Hankster, the Prankster, to have my time on the treadmill. As soon as I lower the treadmill, silly little Hank barks. When the treadmill hits the carpet, Hank hops on. If I don’t turn it to an acceptable speed for him, he barks until I do! He walks on the treadmill for five to ten minutes, hops off, as if to say, “OK…it’s your turn, Mom!” Who would think a small dog would intercept a grown woman’s work out!

    Do I owe all of my slow-moving success to Weight Watchers? Yes, I say. The leaders at Weight Watchers say I owe myself the credit. “No, I owe it to Weight Watchers, the leaders, friendships and strength given to me at the meetings. Without Weight Watchers, I would’ve quit by now…”

    On this beautiful sunny day, I will share the treadmill with Hankster since it is much too hot to attempt walking the bridge today. Tomorrow — perhaps! My goal hasn’t been reached yet — all in time…all to the credit of Weight Watchers… This I truly do FOR ME!

  • Happy Mother’s Day


    Today, I awaken to the sounds of motherhood. My children are in the bed with me, rolling over, wanting attention and a bit of motherly love. Hank groans. Sandy Bear jumps off the bed with a solid thump as his four legs hit the carpeting. Shakespeare lies next to me on his pillow, rolling over, kicking his four legs in unison. I moan realizing morning has begun in this household filled with four-legged children demanding my attention.

    Years ago, I was the mother to my son, and I am still the mother to him, although he is married now, with a precious child of his own. I am proud of my son and miss him in my life. He is busy with work, a career that demands his attention and his wife and family. Rarely do I see him, but that doesn’t stop the fact that I am his mother.

    Motherhood is more than ‘birthing a child.’ It is a special time to care for the child and to teach the child the values, love and nourishment that all children need to grow up to be responsible, respected adults. I was an extremely young mother, giving birth to my child when I was only twenty-years-old. While I learned the ropes of successful motherhood, I recognized I wasn’t trained or ready to become a mother, and so my precious son taught me by his actions. Together we learned the definition of family and I am proud to be his mother.

    To all of the mothers reading this, I would like to say, motherhood doesn’t come with a training manual. While we teach our children to speak, walk and to flutter their wings as we watch them growing up, we are constantly learning from them. When a child has its first ‘boo-boo’ we wipe their tears, while perhaps wiping a tear from our face. I recall a tear slipping down my face when my son went to kindergarten. In first grade, I became a volunteer at his school, only to be told that he wished I would not be at school so much. Perhaps I had raised him to be a bit too independent, so I backed away, recognizing that my son was growing up. While he still needed a mother, he also needed his independence. I did not wish to be a helicopter mom.

    Every year at Mother’s Day, I think of my mother, wishing we could’ve become the mother daughter I always wanted. Let’s just say, my mother had issues. She never wanted her children to grow up, so she smothered us with control and manipulations. I broke away at an early age, fighting with every breath to have an independent life. Later in her life, when she was ill, I lived eight hours away from her. When she was moved from my youngest sister’s apartment to a care facility, I kept in touch daily with the nurses. I sent care packages to her, and when she could speak I spoke with her.

    I lost my mother on September 11, 2002, and still I do not know the reasons for her death. She was recuperating from a stroke. According to the nurses ‘she was improving.’ I requested them to keep me informed. After her death, no one let me know of her passing until sixteen hours later. My youngest sister’s son phoned me to share the news. The last question he shared with me while on the phone was, “Aunt Barbie, do you think they’ll do an autopsy?”

    Strange. I didn’t comprehend all that he was saying at the time.

    I was on Prednisone and my brain simply was not processing these words. I was home at the time battling an acute attack of severe bronchitis. Her funeral was set for the next morning. I was too sick to drive and my husband was in Italy at the time, so I missed her funeral. Nevertheless, I am at peace with her passing, knowing that I did all that I could to let her know that I had buried our torrential past and was there for her.

    Today, on Mother’s Day, I think of her, wishing her well. I hope she found peace before her death and I do hope she knew that I did love her. Regardless of our history together, I fully believe that not all women should become mothers. My mother was one of them who shouldn’t have, but I cannot look back wishing to change things that were out of my control. All I can do is to thank my mother for giving me life. I hope and pray that deep inside her heart she found a small way to be proud of me. Happy Mother’s Day, and may your Mother’s Day be enriched with the love of your family.

  • Happy Valentine’s Day


    Today, February 14, 2013 is Valentine’s Day. Reportedly, Valentine’s Day began when ‘a French man by the name of Charles, the Duke of Orleans wrote the first Valentine after he was captured during a battle in 1415.’ There are many beliefs about the importance of Valentine’s Day…how the Romans celebrated a festival on February 15…An additional myth is “Valentine’s Day is based on a belief that birds pick their mates on February 14, especially love birds.”  http://www.sunniebunniezz.com/holiday/valenday.htm 

    For me, Valentine’s Day grew to become a special day for love and appreciation after my husband had heart surgery in February, 1998. When the doctor met with me after my husband’s surgery, I jokingly shared that I was surprised he actually found a heart. “Sometimes he appears to be heartless,” I responded, thanking him for letting me know the prognosis.

    My husband’s recovery was short. He simply refused to rest and follow the doctor’s orders. He quit smoking, but he’s gained a significant amount of weight, blaming it on not smoking anymore. The reality is ‘he lives to eat.’

    Since 1998, there has been a new appreciation for us at Valentine’s Day. Today is no exception.

    If you are reading this, why not take an extra moment in time to let your loved ones know that they are a part of your Valentine’s Day…no matter who they are…no matter where they live, or what they believe…take one moment in time to say, “Happy Valentine’s Day!”

    Yes, no doubt today you will see lots of red…lots of expensive roses and flowers, cupids, red hearts, candies, love birds, arrows, and all that apply to a Happy Valentine’s Day. Years before his surgery, my husband used excuses for Valentine’s Day. He was ‘too busy,,,he forgot…besides, Valentine’s Day is a day for lovers, not married people…’ and so on. Funny, in 1998, he began taking the time to get me a card for Valentine’s Day. A nice card…something he actually picked out himself. Perhaps he found a new heart  after his heart surgery!

    Regardless who you are, please take a moment today on Valentine’s Day, to let those who are cherished by you, know how much they mean to you.

    A simple “Happy Valentine’s Day” will do!