Dearest Readers:
It is 2pm on the Eastern coast of the United States of America. My body lacks all forms of energy today from a lack of sleep last night. All Hell broke loose last night in the wee hours of the morning. Hearing thunder, I awoke, rolled over and struggled to drift back to sleep, but it didn’t happen. The blinds were closed. The room was dark, until the lightning flash danced along the skyline. Sandy Bear snuggled closer to me. I heard Shadow whining. He was asleep on his pillow, guarding the house, so I decided to slumber to where he was to comfort him and bring him back to the bedroom. Normally, he would rush towards the back door, but when I opened the gate, he rushed to the bedroom. Opening the door to the bedroom, Shadow leaped to the bed and was snuggled on the pillows before I could slide inside the sheets. He whined again. I moved closer to him. “Sh-h-h, boy. It’s OK. You’re safe. Just go back to sleep.”
I rubbed his ears and stroked his back. His tight body grew limp. I heard and felt his breath. All was safe and sound, with exception of me. I turned the TV on, listening to early morning news. The weather forecaster said the storms started at about 5am. I corrected him. “It was earlier than 4am, you fruitcake.”
Never did I fall back to sleep. Dragging my body to meet the day, I slid out of bed. All was quiet along the home front now. The storms were gone, but sleep — something I need desperately, didn’t happen.
At 9am, I rushed to my Weight Watchers meeting. Of course, today is like many of the weigh in weeks lately. Up one pound. Down the next. Up .02…and down again. Today, up one pound. “Rats,” I said, taking my booklet back. I stopped to glance at the mirror. You’ve seen the type, the one that makes you look 10 pounds lighter. I was wearing a navy pair of shorts, a ruffled aqua blue top that hugged my waistline, and I smiled, while smoothing the shirt along my newly formed curves. “OK,” I said. “At least all of the exercise is working. My waistline actually has curves now.” I smiled into the mirror, hoping no one was noticing me.
Sitting down, I found myself in deep thoughts. I get this way whenever I am exhausted. “Yes,” I said. “You’ve gained a pound. Accept it, but never accept that you have curves again. Finally!”
It’s been a three-year struggle for me to achieve my goal weight. Never did I believe I would actually buy clothing that hugged my waistline as I do now. Nor did I believe I would buy shorter dresses with a waistline, but I am!
I have discovered on this Weight Watchers journey that losing weight is more than a number. Now I wear clothes in much smaller sizes, and much to my surprise, my shoe size is smaller! Whenever I focus on the number that I weigh, Yes, I get discouraged, and when I do, I remind myself that this is a lifestyle journey for me. Who cares how long it takes me to achieve my goal. I intend to do it, and I will!
Leaving the meeting, I drove home, played with the pups for a few minutes and scuffed my bare feet back to the bedroom. I needed sleep.
For two hours, I watched TV. Never did I sleep. I suppose tonight I will slumber to bed in hopes I will sleep, and I hope and pray that if we must have storms, they will arrive before the middle of the night.
Next week I hope I will share good news that I have lost a pound or two; nevertheless, the inches are falling off of me and I am thankful. Think I’ll take an extra moment next week to stand by that mirror again — just to see what losing ten more pounds will look like. Yes, I have a smile on my face now. I’m truly beginning to like what I see!
Who knows. Maybe one day I’ll actually get gutsy enough to take a selfie and share it. Oops. I said maybe! I still have difficulty taking pictures as a ‘selfie.’ I suppose I’m just not willing to share selfies with the world!
Have a great week. Now if only — I COULD SLEEP!
Barbie Perkins-Cooper, Author 