Barbie Perkins-Cooper, Author

Dearest Readers:

Yes, I understand – today is Saturday, not a Friday reflection. I had every intention to write a Friday reflection yesterday, before all H— broke loose. Allow me to explain. I awoke dreading the day due to another battle with insomnia. I do believe insomnia won this week. Almost every hour I have awakened, unable to sleep, and so, I turned the TV on. Are you aware of how many Christmas shows are running daily now? Lifetime has Christmas shows, Hallmark does, and so does the Hallmark Mystery and Movies Channel – on DirecTV, channel 565. I was amazed as I flipped the channels, attempting to sleep.

Thanksgiving is less than a week away! After several cups of coffee, I was ready to start the day. I planned to glue my butt to the chair and write, but first, I had to do laundry. I sorted. Threw a load of colorfast laundry in my Kenmore front load machine. Hit the buttons to turn it on. NOTHING AGAIN.
I mumbled a few choice words to myself, realizing I had to phone Sears again – just like before in July. I dialed the number, listening to the automated system – awaiting a real person. Never did I realize my voice was already being recorded. Let’s just say, even Julia Sugarbaker would’ve disowned me this time!

“Oh great. Here we go again,” I said. “Welcome to Voice Jail.”

Finally a male voice answered, lecturing me that I needed to calm down and not assume that “Here we go again.”

How dare him!

He looked up my warranty, doing all the things that customer service reps do while we the customer waits for a reply. After several discussions, he mentioned that I had an extensive warranty and might consider getting another washer.

“I bought this one in 2011, or earlier. I believe it’s less than four years old. Just HOW LONG does a Kenmore washer last?”

“The machine was purchased in 2010,” he responded, according to his records.

Funny, never would I consider a four-year-old washer “OLD!”

I remained on the phone with Sears for over one hour. You know the drill. Transfer to one department. Please hold for another so they can schedule your appointment with a technician, and then I asked to speak to someone about getting another washer since mine was ‘so old’ [four years???]. I was told I needed to have three or four more complaints before they would consider a replacement for me. After all, my washer is old. [Four years…!]

The technician will be at my house next Friday. The day after Thanksgiving. I must go without washing any household laundry for another seven days, unless I choose to treat myself to another day at the Laundromat.

As you can see, my Friday was a waste. I planned to jump on the treadmill; however, the only workout I got yesterday was my mouth and jaws! Today is the BPOE show at the Elks Lodge, so another day of so many things to do. Tomorrow, I will work out. My body feels deprived if it doesn’t achieve the daily goals of an intense work out.

I’m still annoyed with Sears. The machine is not getting power. Believe me when I say it needs another computer board. I am hopeful when the technician arrives next Friday he will repeat his suggestion that “You might consider getting another washing machine to replace this one.”

Remember — my washer is old. That’s what every person I spoke with said! [FOUR YEARS OLD!]

Never did I realize, until the discussion on the phone yesterday, that my warranty would grant me a replacement – HOWEVER, I must have three or four more complaints to determine I need a replacement. I suppose they are hopeful my warranty will run out and I’ll have to purchase another washer!

I ask you – what part of LEMON does Sears not understand? I paid my hard-earned money to purchase that machine and now I truly regret it!

My Kenmore front load washer should be painted yellow, to match the lemon that it is!

Enough of this. Maybe I’ll write more tomorrow. Now, I must go get dressed so I can dazzle the audience tonight. If only I could dazzle Sears and Kenmore to stop making lemons.

Maybe I’ll squeeze some lemons and mix a bowl of sugar and water with them – to make lemonade. On second thought, I think I need a large glass of Moscato wine!

How about it, Sears – are you listening? HERE WE GO AGAIN!